It’s been a roller coaster ride the past two months! Life has just been so busy.
Lilly’s spirits are still so extremely high and I could not be more grateful. I believe the only one who doesn’t know she has cancer is her. She’s still extremely alert, goofy, playful, and her true self. I don’t quite believe she has this terrible cancer, physically I can see it. I see it everyday.
In the past two months, I’ve watched the sores and scabs get darker, wider, and spread. I’ve watched as her bottom lip has swelled up completely. I’ve watched her entire nose and snout area become scabbed. I’ve watched the vet and my mom scrap the scab off as my little 15 lb dog fought them. I’ve watched her appetite almost double – and as a diabetic dog mom, typically that would be a great thing. But, as I’ve learned, it’s increased because of the cancer. I’ve watched her hide the itching and scratching she does. I’ve watched has her fur has thinned out a little bit. I’ve petted areas that were once fluffy and soft and now are scabby.
I’ve watched her chase the dogs that are being walked in our neighborhood, I’ve watched her fight to walk more during our walk, I’ve watched her fight to keep the pace, I’ve watched her play more, I’ve watched her play with her toys, I’ve watched her get extremely excited for a walk or for someone to come home.
I’ve watched her continue to be the Lilly we all know and love.
She has her good days and she has her bad days. Her bad days aren’t too bad, thankfully. Those days just mean she sleeps more, she doesn’t play as hard, she doesn’t walk as long, and she doesn’t jump off the furniture.
If that’s all that is slowing her down, then I will be more than happy to watch the cancer spread.
We got her pictures taken because, don’t parents get pictures of their kids taken? I was so worried that people would ask, “why is she dirty” to which I’d have to respond, “ITS FUCKING CANCER!” But nobody has said anything. She was a star. I want to get more done with her and I, because I don’t feel like we got many.
Lilly is still doing great. She’s almost three months into diagnosis. At first, I thought that the cancer was going to take over so extremely fast. It’s been fast, don’t get me wrong, but it’s been slower than I expected. We have a great support team behind us. Our family, our HALO family, and our friends.
I’ve been asked more than I can count since finding out she has cutaneous lymphoma and diabetes, “where did you get her from” *insert diva emoji* What does that matter?
I rescued her. She is a purebred. But I rescued her. If someone would’ve told me when I was 17 the night that I found that precious dog on petfinder that she would down the road have diabetes and cancer, I would’ve looked at them dumbfounded. Okay? I knew then that she was my dog. The universe knew she was my dog. I would’ve still rescued her. Nothing would’ve changed. (I wouldn’t have let the vet treat her for a bladder infection). She still would’ve been mine. Just as children, we don’t get to chose their medical stories. Do I wish this wasn’t part of her journey, ABSOLUTELY! But, when I rescued her from HALO, I joined an amazing support system. I believe in the universe and I believe in the strength of prayer. I believe when people say they are thinking about her, that the universe takes those positive vibes and feeds into Lilly. I believe that’s why she still is as goofy as the day I brought her home.
Not treating her was one of the hardest, yet easiest decisions I’ve ever made. I didn’t want to put her through the pain and risk the cancer fighting back. Lilly is a fighter, she’s a tough little cookie. I know she could never beat the cancer, but we can fight it as long as we can.
See what we’ve been up to!
Patient Lilly 